The amount of pain a person causes is a measure of the pain that an individual holds inside. That means, that when a friend says unkind words or treats you badly, he or she is probably hurting. Don’t we all get goofy when we are frightened or hurt? As soon as you recognize that your friend is hurting, you shift from being a victim to being someone who cares. How do you show you care? You decide to let your own hurt feelings go. You shower your friend with kindness. (Often silent thoughts of kindness are the best of all. Thoughts do count.) Remember, every person you meet carries at least some inner discomfort. Recognizing pain in others takes the sting out of their actions.